Untitled #24

I see these kids
Jumping in joy
Through tears shed
Just at the word Hi
I see faces of awe
Stare into a rainbow
The smile on the face
At the mention of a name
I feel them feel so much more
Than I can comprehend
I sit here wondering
Am I missing a cog
Am I missing a gear
Am I fully here

How broken must I be
For you to not know
I need to be fixed

Darkness

It's those lights that cast these shadows
please turn them off

Make the shadows go away
please turn those lights off

We fall in love with an interpretation

Sometimes, love is an unquenchable thirst

It lingers like the longing you have in your eyes

Seeps within and flow away through your fingers

It mends your long broken weary spirit

Fulfil your own discontent heart

It is the solace you searched all this time

Consolation you have promised yourself

We all fall in love

in our own way  with our interpretations                                     

Ramblings

  I remember the time I took a nosedive into a heated cup of tea. I didn't drown. Maybe I did. I don't remember it all that clearly. It's all a haze, lost in a fog. I know. I should. I was there after all. Until I wasn't. I melted away. Fumes of my thoughts rose into the air in thick wisps. I entered some clear-headed nobody's nostril. I became him. Or rather he became me. I do not know. Maybe we just fused into one.
  Something like that ought to change oneself. Even for a few minutes till the effects of the world around wore off. And then the real monsters would latch on. Who knows what they will do, how long can they be kept at bay.
  Self was gone and what remained could only be described as a cold breeze on a damp day.
  Gone.
  But I came back.
  When I came to, I was lying in pool of things I could only imagine. Everything was gone. My tea was gone. Somebody must have drunk it. I felt a thirst taking hold. I got up. The room was closing in on me. The walls I have trusted was moving in. Crushing me. "This can't be real!" I told myself. Can it? There was music. A song I never heard before was playing slowly and pulling me in. I was still not all there. I noticed the patterns on the curtains. They have always been there. But I didn't notice them. Wonder why. I moved slowly towards them. Seemed like they went on forever.
  I laughed. What a curious galaxy I live in.
 There was a knock on the door. The music stopped. The patterns stopped moving on into infinity. The room was quiet. I was going crazy.
  There it was again. The knock."Who is it?" I whispered. I ducked under the table. They can't get to me here. I'll disappear. Into the void.
  I'll let go and the music will surely begin again.

Colours of Insanity

Last rainy morning
there was a moment
when I ceased to exist

I was gone and nothing remained
to where, I can't ever know
but come back, I did
or something akin to myself
I am not who I was before
or this world has changed
for I feel different and not quite the same

and last dark night
when I was all alone
she came to me

slowly casting her shadow
her profile upon my wall
and I sat in awe
basking in that silky light
that majesticness beholden to me
'who are you?'
is all I could manage

in all silent voices
she said to me
her name I can't repeat

she descended down upon my horrors
deep in to the chasm of lost fears
she threw them apart
took it down piece by piece
ripped them off from my walls
leaving them bear like before
told me to do what needed to be done

I looked confused
not knowing what she meant
she smiled and faded away

alone I sat confounded
gazing upon those bear walls
not knowing what to do
I looked upon the floor
where piece by piece
everything was disappearing
fading into nothingness

and then a whisper
echoed through my brain
her voice in my heart

I smiled a hefty smile
I got up from where I sat
took a brush of lovely paint
and laughing hysterically
dancing without restraint
I painted my walls
with the colours of insanity

The hard hitting subtlety

        in your smile

The one in green

Doe eyed

             bright glint

staring deeply

      blankly into the sky

Smiling

    laughing softly

Laughing softly in my ears

Smiling

        and everyone smiles

Laughing

       and everyone listens

Flowing straight

  ebon hair

  waving

Beckoning

     calling, warning

Stirring

This world I know nothing of

This world I know nothing of

I just got here today

a student of the mummers

that roam this world

The wanderers who seek

the wonders it offers

the singers who dance

to the dancers' song

They seep through you

as they swim the oceans

never-knowing, unknowable

unseekable, undetectable

I know nothing of this love

that fills my very essence

I only feel but not understand

I only truly experience

This world I know nothing of

I am leaving on the morrow

a student of life and love

that resides in your hearts


And I meet those people who
search the world for themselves
and the ones that
search for the world within themselves

A song

A song lives inside me

It soothes and stirs

It slithers slowly

Its strike swift

And its soul sweet

It sweeps its sole

It swims in deep

It shakes its skin

And it swears sleepily

A song lives inside me

Slowly swelling

Stretching and sprouting

Spudding smoothly

Swiftly spreading

Soaring and sliding

Surging surely

A song resides in me

And rises high above

And burns asunder

I went down the road.

I went down the end of the road to see what was ahead. I sat down gazing at the darkness I saw. I became lost in thoughts of the worlds that had been and the worlds that could be. I saw a heavy rain fall from the heavens. I saw the dried up earth quenching in thirst. I felt the breeze beneath my eyes. I heard the wind, whispering about the things I left behind, in my ear. I decided to rest my weary head upon the road. I laid down my body at the beginning of the end. I heard, with my ear to the ground, the approaching iniquitousness. I wept for the world that was. I hoped for this not to be a bitter end.

The curve
on the corners
of your lips

Courageous Coward

Voices through the crack
so lonely and black
at the back of my head
feel as heavy as lead

seeping through voids of space
slowly gone without a trace
oozing into the corner shade
cutting very much like a rusty blade

sudden and eager as ever
which, when, where ever
the feeling comes and goes
as they slowly pose and impose

whisper in my dreary ear
echo ever so far and near
words made of thunder
telling me to go under

dark on a satin backdrop
wrapped in silky taupe
dripping in blood carmine
of none other, but mine

hovering above the ground
with tears all around
a courageous coward
above all I towered


dead

Melancholy

the lonesome silent letters

and the elusive words

tormented and insatiable

they lure the obscene bards

into corners of chasms

they fill themselves

with hallucinogenic hope

with contagious fear

they walked and crawled

through dead streets

and into the graveyards

romancing Death

the solitary notes
of the sounds of melancholy
tortured left unsated
they leave the somber poets
in the depths of shallowness
these masked men of dire
reluctent to take their name
writing nonsensical verses
of rhyming rythems
on ink filled papers
and crawling slowly into
the eyes of the beholders

Sometimes I feel like the rain on a sunny day!

To buy your pain

when you put me on paper
and dissect me with your scalpel
what do you think you would find
it did not make any sense at all

so you stood me in front of a mirror
and put me under the microscope
you searched every pore on my skin
it did not make any sense at all

and you shine a light in my eye
you try to sell me into the night
just like your miscellaneous soul
you're lost in your own stale words

no, I don't want to buy your pain
it's sold on every street corner
where no one is really at home
high on rhetoric, they all sit alone

take a long walk to somewhere
and take my shoes if you must
smash all your rose tinted windows
that you look at everything through

you try so hard to understand
to make sense of everything I am
you try to put me into words absurd
that you don't fully understand at all

why don't you take a look inside
you're the only thing you should really know
there is nothing else here to realize
if you are really telling the whole truth

no, I don't want to buy your misery
it's found on every street corner
where no one is really at home
high on rhetoric, they all sit alone


and you dissect your own dissonance
and you dissent your own conscience
and you don't know what you believe in
and you don't believe in what you know

Love

I emblazon myself with the colors of the universe
I am getting high in a world of lows
For I am here now,
Neither do I dwell in the past
Nor do I contemplate on the future
It doesn't matter where I come from
Or where the road I am on takes me
Regrets and Hopes, mere words with little meaning
For Love is an universal truth

I float across a worldly bliss
I am walking in an otherworldly rhythm
For I am listening to the noise
But its not the sounds it makes
Or the silence it breaks
It's a rhapsody like no other
An opera of transcendental voices
Notes and chords, and broken melody
It is a song of Love, the imperfect and bold

I sit in a broken down home
I am sitting at a loss of words
For I have said what I can
But I am not done with life
I have sang its verse
And I have read it prose
I reject all Hate the world projects
All Pride, Greed, Lust and Envy
And now I am become Love

Pawn

You don't know who I am; what my name is. Where I come from, where I'm going. What's going in my mind. You don't know what makes me smile. and why should you?

You don't care for my dreams. For my hopes and desires. You don't care about the stories I have to tell or the songs I want to sing.

I don't know why you claim you know me. Why you say you speak for me. Why you want me to believe that you stand with me. I don't know why you would delude yourself into such miserable beliefs.

I don't care what you think I dream of. What you think I should have and do. I don't care what you think my life should be.

I don't know why I should be your instrument. I refuse to be a pawn.

Listen

Listen!
Listen. Stop talking.
Stop talking, stop thinking and listen.
There is something going on. There has been something going on.

Listen.
Listen to the sounds that is being made. To the songs that is being sung. There is something going on.
Listen to the voices. To the cries and the weeps. The yells and the shouts. Listen to the laughter.

Silence. Listen to the silence. Listen to everything.

For we have been talking long enough. We have been walking long enough. Why haven't we realized that there is something to be heard? Something worthy of being heard?

We would have heard.

Listen.
Listen to the nature. The sounds it makes, the silence it breaks.
Listen to yourself. The words you say. The song you sing.
Listen to the story being told. By us; everyone. By everything.

Listen even if you think there is nothing to be heard.

Listen!

Edge

  I stand at the edge of Heaven. Staring upon endless emptiness. Behind me, vast pastures of green. High mountains and endless rivers flowing. Behind me a forest of huge trees and wondrous animals. Behind me a desert of sandy gold, and an oasis full of wonders.

  Behind me castles and palaces. Vast and magnificent.

  Behind me, the whole of Heaven.

  I stare into the vast empty space before me.

Dysthymia

O Weltschmerz
Why sit by the window I ask
if you don't like the world you see outside
why cry your tears and weep
when no one hears you wail
You know that you need to know
what is and what will never be
Painted in all shades of blue
you hang down so low
hidden behind a paper mask
and painted smiles
Tired to the bones
tried to the deepest bones
Why roam around
somewhere you don't trust yourself
why hang around
when there is nothing to focus on
You got no words to hang on to
no hands to hold on to
there is no way you can let go
just sit around
move through the motions
with your blunted affects
and your harsh heart
For you are invisible to a reflected world
no ones looking for you
all they see is a face
and that is enough for them
all they need is a place
to push you and your leaden body into