Ramblings

  I remember the time I took a nosedive into a heated cup of tea. I didn't drown. Maybe I did. I don't remember it all that clearly. It's all a haze, lost in a fog. I know. I should. I was there after all. Until I wasn't. I melted away. Fumes of my thoughts rose into the air in thick wisps. I entered some clear-headed nobody's nostril. I became him. Or rather he became me. I do not know. Maybe we just fused into one.
  Something like that ought to change oneself. Even for a few minutes till the effects of the world around wore off. And then the real monsters would latch on. Who knows what they will do, how long can they be kept at bay.
  Self was gone and what remained could only be described as a cold breeze on a damp day.
  Gone.
  But I came back.
  When I came to, I was lying in pool of things I could only imagine. Everything was gone. My tea was gone. Somebody must have drunk it. I felt a thirst taking hold. I got up. The room was closing in on me. The walls I have trusted was moving in. Crushing me. "This can't be real!" I told myself. Can it? There was music. A song I never heard before was playing slowly and pulling me in. I was still not all there. I noticed the patterns on the curtains. They have always been there. But I didn't notice them. Wonder why. I moved slowly towards them. Seemed like they went on forever.
  I laughed. What a curious galaxy I live in.
 There was a knock on the door. The music stopped. The patterns stopped moving on into infinity. The room was quiet. I was going crazy.
  There it was again. The knock."Who is it?" I whispered. I ducked under the table. They can't get to me here. I'll disappear. Into the void.
  I'll let go and the music will surely begin again.

Colours of Insanity

Last rainy morning
there was a moment
when I ceased to exist

I was gone and nothing remained
to where, I can't ever know
but come back, I did
or something akin to myself
I am not who I was before
or this world has changed
for I feel different and not quite the same

and last dark night
when I was all alone
she came to me

slowly casting her shadow
her profile upon my wall
and I sat in awe
basking in that silky light
that majesticness beholden to me
'who are you?'
is all I could manage

in all silent voices
she said to me
her name I can't repeat

she descended down upon my horrors
deep in to the chasm of lost fears
she threw them apart
took it down piece by piece
ripped them off from my walls
leaving them bear like before
told me to do what needed to be done

I looked confused
not knowing what she meant
she smiled and faded away

alone I sat confounded
gazing upon those bear walls
not knowing what to do
I looked upon the floor
where piece by piece
everything was disappearing
fading into nothingness

and then a whisper
echoed through my brain
her voice in my heart

I smiled a hefty smile
I got up from where I sat
took a brush of lovely paint
and laughing hysterically
dancing without restraint
I painted my walls
with the colours of insanity

The hard hitting subtlety

        in your smile

The one in green

Doe eyed

             bright glint

staring deeply

      blankly into the sky

Smiling

    laughing softly

Laughing softly in my ears

Smiling

        and everyone smiles

Laughing

       and everyone listens

Flowing straight

  ebon hair

  waving

Beckoning

     calling, warning

Stirring

This world I know nothing of

This world I know nothing of

I just got here today

a student of the mummers

that roam this world

The wanderers who seek

the wonders it offers

the singers who dance

to the dancers' song

They seep through you

as they swim the oceans

never-knowing, unknowable

unseekable, undetectable

I know nothing of this love

that fills my very essence

I only feel but not understand

I only truly experience

This world I know nothing of

I am leaving on the morrow

a student of life and love

that resides in your hearts


And I meet those people who
search the world for themselves
and the ones that
search for the world within themselves

A song

A song lives inside me

It soothes and stirs

It slithers slowly

Its strike swift

And its soul sweet

It sweeps its sole

It swims in deep

It shakes its skin

And it swears sleepily

A song lives inside me

Slowly swelling

Stretching and sprouting

Spudding smoothly

Swiftly spreading

Soaring and sliding

Surging surely

A song resides in me

And rises high above

And burns asunder

I went down the road.

I went down the end of the road to see what was ahead. I sat down gazing at the darkness I saw. I became lost in thoughts of the worlds that had been and the worlds that could be. I saw a heavy rain fall from the heavens. I saw the dried up earth quenching in thirst. I felt the breeze beneath my eyes. I heard the wind, whispering about the things I left behind, in my ear. I decided to rest my weary head upon the road. I laid down my body at the beginning of the end. I heard, with my ear to the ground, the approaching iniquitousness. I wept for the world that was. I hoped for this not to be a bitter end.

The curve
on the corners
of your lips

Courageous Coward

Voices through the crack
so lonely and black
at the back of my head
feel as heavy as lead

seeping through voids of space
slowly gone without a trace
oozing into the corner shade
cutting very much like a rusty blade

sudden and eager as ever
which, when, where ever
the feeling comes and goes
as they slowly pose and impose

whisper in my dreary ear
echo ever so far and near
words made of thunder
telling me to go under

dark on a satin backdrop
wrapped in silky taupe
dripping in blood carmine
of none other, but mine

hovering above the ground
with tears all around
a courageous coward
above all I towered


dead

Melancholy

the lonesome silent letters

and the elusive words

tormented and insatiable

they lure the obscene bards

into corners of chasms

they fill themselves

with hallucinogenic hope

with contagious fear

they walked and crawled

through dead streets

and into the graveyards

romancing Death

the solitary notes
of the sounds of melancholy
tortured left unsated
they leave the somber poets
in the depths of shallowness
these masked men of dire
reluctent to take their name
writing nonsensical verses
of rhyming rythems
on ink filled papers
and crawling slowly into
the eyes of the beholders

Sometimes I feel like the rain on a sunny day!

All right

where have you been
where did you go
tell me the things you've seen
and the reason you left for

what did you do
when you weren't here
and me, alone without you
your voice I could still hear

sing me that song
you used to sing all night
for your voice this night, I long
sing to me, make it all right

Confines of time

She reminds me of someone I never knew
like a forgone dream I have lost
the times I held her were too few
so I wait till she comes around

Like a fleeting memory
at the back of my head
that's floating away slowly
seeping through my mind

She is leaving this place
a few steps at a time
taking away all the grace
leaving an echo behind

says she can't hide no more
losing herself all over again
She'll find her way back ashore
but she won't know herself

there's nothing much she can do
bound by the passage of time
just moving on and through
like every other face you see

can't take it any long
I can see it in her eyes
and hear it in her song
but I can't just let go

It was long ago yesterday
when everything was just right
but she is not here today
and everything is gone

I can't escape confines of time
entangled, bound and restrained
like how it happened last time
it's history repeating itself

Where do you get off?

Where do you get off
this bus needs to get moving on
you are down my throat
and eating away my words

are you lost
or are you lonely
we've got to go
leave behind slowly

you are burning fires
you can't put off
and shooting bullets
you can't stop

and we'll keep driving on and on
you'll make war, we'll make love
we will go where flowers bloom
while you sit in someone's room

we are lost
not so lonely
we'll keep moving on
leaving behind slowly

you are dragging us
back to before
where you want to stay
but can't let us go

but we'll keep moving on and on
you'll make war, we'll make love
we will go where flowers bloom
while you sit in someone's room

where do you get off
with your constant dissonance
you are down my throat
eating away at my words

To buy your pain

when you put me on paper
and dissect me with your scalpel
what do you think you would find
it did not make any sense at all

so you stood me in front of a mirror
and put me under the microscope
you searched every pore on my skin
it did not make any sense at all

and you shine a light in my eye
you try to sell me into the night
just like your miscellaneous soul
you're lost in your own stale words

no, I don't want to buy your pain
it's sold on every street corner
where no one is really at home
high on rhetoric, they all sit alone

take a long walk to somewhere
and take my shoes if you must
smash all your rose tinted windows
that you look at everything through

you try so hard to understand
to make sense of everything I am
you try to put me into words absurd
that you don't fully understand at all

why don't you take a look inside
you're the only thing you should really know
there is nothing else here to realize
if you are really telling the whole truth

no, I don't want to buy your misery
it's found on every street corner
where no one is really at home
high on rhetoric, they all sit alone


and you dissect your own dissonance
and you dissent your own conscience
and you don't know what you believe in
and you don't believe in what you know

Before I go to sleep

Please let me tell you one more time

assure me that you are still mine

but if you are ready to go now

before you leave for the night

won't you tell me how

Please tell me one more time

tell me we are going to be fine

You have given a look and a sigh

but if you leave tonight

won't you tell me why

Before I go to sleep tonight

tell you'll be here in the morning light

But if going is what you planned

know that I will try to understand

 Its going to be a cold night tonight

going to need a warm place to sleep right

you have taken everything I have

and when morning comes

yours company I will crave

Before I go to sleep tonight

tell you'll be here in the morning light

tell me I'll be fine here on my own

but you know I'd rather not be alone

Before I go to sleep tonight

tell you'll be here in the morning light

But if going is what you planned

know that I will try to understand

Incomplete

Taken away by a madman
the sunny days are gone
don't you look back
for we are all alone
at a lonely bus stop
at the end of nowhere
and the stars, they are burning
and will keep doing so
We grew up too fast
everything has gone away
we don't remember
how we really felt
when the days were longer
and the nights were plenty
but now, life is a fool's errand
and yet, surely, wars end
But we are not weak
just incomplete

The lonely men

Have you seen the lonely men
in the crowded rooms
with their heads held high
and eyes full of gloom

where do they belong to
where did they come from
what stories do they recall
what songs do they hum


He had walked among them
in those lonely streets
He had seen them there
into the back they retreats

why do they hide their faces
in such an open place
how to they keep falling
so deep from the grace


He had heard their woes
in those horrible cries
and their hefty laughs
where their pain hides

when will they learn to love
and put their hearts alight
why do they paint the faces
with false colors so bright

Death

there is a dark shadow creeping on the floor

there is a loud, quick knock on the door

now you know you are not where you were before

you were here long ago, but you don't know what for

and you try so hard to understand

you look for someone to lend you a hand

but everyone you know is in a far away land

you realize this isn't how you had your life planned

there is a loud thud upon the wall

your skin is now starting to crawl

the room is starting to get small

you ready yourself for what is about to befall

a thunderstorm is roaring outside

you know that you are trapped inside

you know that there is no place to hide

you kneel down and swallow your pride

whoever it is, is waiting outside for you

you have no one to tell you what to do

you look around, wanting to know if all this is true

looking for anything, a cue, a hint, a clue

what do you do, when Death comes knocking

when you know there is no place It won't come looking

It will take you, no matter the state you are in

your body torn apart, your soul plucked in

the bell tolls, the prayer calls, the gong is pound

for you, they will dug a grave, to lower you into the ground

they will stand by your tomb, their false grief abound

they will stay till bells sound, then leave you to rot in the ground

the door squeaks, silence falls, and walks in the Reaper

The Angel, Azrael, Anubis, Yama, death's own harbinger

Thanatos, Kisin, by any name, but your chauffeur

to take you to the beyond, to what ever comes after

It looks into your eyes, It smiles a wrecked smile

Its eyes deep and dead, Its lips ever so vile

It stands there looking at you, does nothing for a while

then takes you a thousand miles hauling through the aisle

you try to wake yourself from this nightmare

for all this is too much for you to bear

you think you're going crazy, leaving your sanity bare

leaving yourself, going away, you don't know where

there is a red dark alley along the highway

the sky is gone, and in its place all gray

the seas are boiling and this world decay

and you have your whole life to pay

and you are trying so hard to understand

you hang by a thread, your life at the strand

you fall into a pain you can hardly withstand

your voice is strained, your life's been panned

by a fire in the woods, you bled

you lay there, where you were led

it was your last place, a death bed

and in a matter of minutes you were dead

Love

I emblazon myself with the colors of the universe
I am getting high in a world of lows
For I am here now,
Neither do I dwell in the past
Nor do I contemplate on the future
It doesn't matter where I come from
Or where the road I am on takes me
Regrets and Hopes, mere words with little meaning
For Love is an universal truth

I float across a worldly bliss
I am walking in an otherworldly rhythm
For I am listening to the noise
But its not the sounds it makes
Or the silence it breaks
It's a rhapsody like no other
An opera of transcendental voices
Notes and chords, and broken melody
It is a song of Love, the imperfect and bold

I sit in a broken down home
I am sitting at a loss of words
For I have said what I can
But I am not done with life
I have sang its verse
And I have read it prose
I reject all Hate the world projects
All Pride, Greed, Lust and Envy
And now I am become Love